Local teenager Amy fucking forgot to turn her microwave off, it has emerged. Dan, her hamster, has come to the conclusion that "the temperature is fucking high" and "it definitely makes a strange noise". Amy left her place about 10 mins ago, looking a bit worried after a call. Dan heard her say "but what if they find out?" and "I just can't take care of it anymore."
Dan, who allegedly ate half the couch yesterday, says he has no idea what Amy was talking about but wishes he could help. During his investigation, Dan noticed that Amy was so worried and upset that she forgot to lock the door, left the microwave on and mistook Dan's cage for the microwave. Dan hopes there is no plate in his cage.
"No hard feelings, can happen to anyone. I just hope she comes back soon cuz it's getting warm and I think my dick is melting."