Millennial Hamster Only Eats Its Organic Babies

A new trend among hamsters is spreading, the WHO has revaled. The current generation of hamsters seems to mimic human Millennials and share their fear of science and "anything that does not cost a fuckton of money and tastes like shit." 


Female hamsters are known for eating their babies when they feel stressed (and therefore cannot handle more stress and take care of babies) or when the smell of their babies changes, after a human touches them for example. But lately, female hamsters seem to be pickier concerning the babies they eat, focusing on organic babies only, letting the genetically modified or ginger ones live longer.


Millennial hamsters say they feel "closer to nature" and want to know what they eat. Experts have argued that their babies are pretty close genetically but hamsters maintain that their feelings are more relevant than biology.


Families of hamsters have also be seen at Ikea, eating Swedish wood and buying fair-trade chocolate produced by fairly exploited to death Southern Americans.

The situation seems out of control but according to the WHO, there is hope: hamsters die easily and are allergic to cyanide. Owners are advised to keep a few babies and throw the mother's corpse away.

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